


Cacoethes

by Slenderlock



Series: Cacoethes [2]
Category: Night at the Museum (2006 2009)
Genre: M/M, ignores NATM 3, really gay, set in NATM 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 08:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3404519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slenderlock/pseuds/Slenderlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A deeper look into Jedediah and Octavius's experiences during Battle of the Smithsonian, and a look at what could have happened after the end.</p>
<p>“I’d say,” Kahmunrah continued, holding the hourglass up and grinning gleefully down at the cowboy trapped inside it, “he has a little over an hour.”</p>
<p>“I’ll find you,” Octavius promised, knowing no one could hear him. “I’ll find you, Jedediah.”<em> I’ll save you,</em> he didn’t say, because he didn’t know if that was a promise he could keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cacoethes

_“My hair is currency in certain parts of Europe.”_

Jedediah dragged his friend aside, out of the earshot of the bigwig- and honestly, he wouldn’t be surprised if that hair really _was_ a wig, he was so fond of it. “Listen up, kemosabe.” He ignored Octavius’s confused expression, steamrollering him over. “This rodeo clown wouldn’t know a flapjack from a flyswatter.” Even though Jedediah was fairly sure Octavius didn’t completely understand him, the Roman seemed to get the gist. “Now, Gigantor’s out there risking his hide for us. The _least_ we can do is give him some help. Some _big_ help.”

They both looked over as the military man- whatever his name was- gave a particularly excited whoop.

“But,” Jedediah continued, keeping his voice low. “We can’t very well do that if we’re stuck in here, now, can we?”

Octavius shook his head. Jedediah grinned.

“We need to escape.”

Octavius nodded in agreement and Jedediah gestured for them to hurry towards the rust hole they’d found earlier.

“Wait,” Octavius said, holding a hand up. Jedediah paused. Octavius, mildly embarrassed, crossed his arms. “What’s a flapjack?”

“It’s like… a biscuit. Or a scone.”

“Ah.”

Octavius nodded again, following him to the rust hole. Jedediah was about to throw the rope over the side when-

“Wait.”

Jedediah sighed, turning sluggishly to face his friend. “ _What?”_

Octavius’s expression changed in an instant. For a moment, it almost looked as if he were nervous. Which, of course, was ridiculous. Octavius was a Roman emperor. Or general. Or something. Jedediah didn’t actually know. But he’d never been scared of danger before. They’d braved the outside world together, they’d faced battle against the Car Tire. What could Octavius possibly have to worry about?

Whatever it was, he didn’t seem worried about it for long. Because as soon as Jedediah caught his eye, the vague look of worry vanished, to be replaced with the familiar awkward stare at the ground that had used to be so common between them.

When they’d first joined their efforts together to save the museum- to save the tablet, really- the adrenaline had kept them from questioning the strange seamless transition they’d gone through, from thirsty for each others’ blood to _“I ain’t quittin’ you.”_

They’d been too exhausted after the long painful trek back to the museum through the snow to talk about any of it, but the next night.

The celebratory party had been horrific.

Of course, everyone was glad that the museum was back in business and Gigantor was staying, but that didn’t mean every loose end had been tied up. Jedediah’s men had been fighting the Romans for years, and one  night of fighting aside each other wasn’t going to change their minds. Nor was it enough to change Jedediah’s.

But they couldn’t just go back to the fued they’d been fighting before. As much as Jedediah wished things could revert back to normal, the idea of fighting the Roman army again just seemed… wrong. And Octavius hadn’t seemed to make any particular move against them, not even trying to expand his territory into the desert.

And so the next month or so had been filled with the most awkward tension either of them had ever felt. Gigantor was unconcerned by this, because they weren’t causing any trouble, which meant that they were completely on their own.

Sometimes they would have conversations. Horrible, awkward conversations. The first few sentences might be about the particular state of the museum or of a particularly strange person seen through the glass that day. But whatever it was that they wanted- needed- to say, it wouldn’t budge.

Of course, over time, their relationship had blossomed and the two had turned to steadfast friends, but the road had been bumpy.

This, Jedediah realized, was just like that.

“What?” he repeated, when Octavius seemed unable to speak.

The Roman seemed to snap out of whatever it was that was keeping him from talking. He gave a grim smile. “Chest bump,” he reminded his friend.

Jedediah took pity on him, grinning fondly. “Yeah,” he replied, running over and jumping. The metal plates of Octavius’s armor whacked against his leathers painfully, but that was just what made their chestbumps that much more _special._

Satisfied with the chest bump, Jedediah gathered up the rope again. He tied one end to a nail that was hammered into one of the boxes and threw the other end out the hole. After tugging on the rope to make sure it was secure, he nodded at Octavius.

They slid down to the ground, trying not to make a sound-

But of course, Octavius’s armor found a way to muck it up. As the Roman collided with the metal storage unit, the resulting _clang_ echoed through the room. The gangsters at the table were instantly alert, and Jedediah knew he had mere seconds to act.

“Octavius, run!” He shouted, standing in front of his friend and holding his arms out as a shield. Octavius didn’t move. “You make a run for it,” he hissed. “I’ll hold ‘em off!”

“I will not leave you-”

“ _Ain’t no time for your Roman melodrama!_ ” Jedediah shouted, as the hulking figures approached them. “Now _get, go!_ Old Jedediah will be fine.”

As Octavius finally obeyed his orders and shot off into the hallway, Jedediah felt an odd combination of relief and dread.

“Now, you’re in real trouble,” he muttered to himself, as hands descended towards him.

o0O0o

Kahmunrah’s “throne” of choice happened to be that of one Archie Bunker, if the Egyptian’s ramblings had any truth to them. Octavius ground his teeth at the sound of that lisping voice- oh, how he longed to stick his blade right through that throat-

“You know, two words come to mind when I hear you talk,” Jedediah’s voice drawled through the glass- they hadn’t killed him, thank Jupiter they hadn’t killed him- and Octavius strained his ear against the blue colored glass to hear. Thankfully, Kahmunrah’s other underlings seemed too preoccupied with the transpirings within the room to notice him.

“Now, you let old Jedediah out of here or he’s gonna get angry,” his friend finished.

“Well played, Jedediah,” he whispered, pride surging through him. Jedediah wouldn’t be swayed; he’d make it through this.

Unfortunately, Kahmunrah chose that moment to comment on Jedediah’s size.

“ _I ain’t cute!_ ”

“Steady, my friend,” Octavius warned, though he knew his friend couldn’t hear him. “Just stay alive. I _will_ find you,” he promised.

At that moment, however, a group of Kahmunrah’s henchmen dragged in the Night Guard- and Octavius wouldn’t admit it to the human’s face, but he’d begun referring to him as “Gigantor” in his mind, simply because he heard his friend use the name so many times.

Octavius watched as the deranged Egyptian roared some nonsense about the tablet, about how his parents had changed the combination, and was about to cheer along with the Night Guard when-

“Really?” Kahmunrah taunted. “All night? Well. _He_ doesn’t.”  And then he was looking at Jedediah and what was he planning-

“No,” he breathed, as Jedediah was manhandled out of the birdcage. “No.” Louder, now, as Kahmunrah cooed over his so called tantrum. “No!” he shouted, pounding a tiny fist on the glass, as his friend was dropped into the contraption.

“I’d say,” Kahmunrah continued, holding the hourglass up and grinning gleefully down at the cowboy trapped inside it, “he has a little over an hour.”

“I’ll find you,” Octavius promised, knowing no one could hear him. “I’ll find you, Jedediah.” _I’ll save you,_ he didn’t say, because he didn’t know if that was a promise he could keep.

o0O0o

Jedediah hated sand.

Sure, he’d spent nearly his entire life- life?- in it, by the mountainside, building the railroad. But now?

He hated sand.

Kahmunrah had grown bored of watching him try to stay afloat above the grains after he’d stopped talking, so he had nothing to do but wait and see if Gigantor managed to come back. He had faith in Gigantor, of course he did. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t allowed a little doubt.

He could only hope Octavius was still safe. He’d thought only of saving his friend as he’d allowed himself to be captured by the monochrome maniacs and given as a damn _gift_ to Kahmunrah. He had no idea what had happened to him. Perhaps he was still lost in the museum. Maybe he’d been trampled by a stray exhibit. Maybe he’d gone outside and been eaten by some rogue animal. Maybe he was-

Jedediah kicked at the sand surrounding him, trying to wriggle his way out.

He couldn’t spend his time thinking of horrible ways for Octavius to have-

To have-

No. Octavius was fine. Brave in the face of danger, no matter how big. Octavius would be fine. Of course he would.

“Ooh, you’re looking a little peckish,” came the now horribly familiar lisping voice of Kahmunrah. “Maybe you just need some food, hmm?” The Egyptian smiled silkily. “How about a _sand_ witch?”

Jedediah glared.

“It took you this long,” he said, gesturing to the sand that was now about waist high, “to think of that? Man, your game is _weak._ ”

“Would you say you can’t _sand_ my humor?”

“No, I’d say you’re crazier’n’a- n’a Roman in a stockade,” Jedediah spat, folding his arms.

“Oh, do that again, it’s just too cute,” Kahmunrah cooed. Jedediah frowned. “That thing with your arms, oh, it’s just adorable.” He held the hourglass up and put his eye up to the glass, looming down over Jedediah like someone trying to convince themselves not to eat their dessert early.

“You’ll pay hell for this,” he warned, pointing threateningly up at Kahmunrah. “You will.”

“You think so?” the Egyptian mused, giving the hourglass a tap. “Because I really don’t think so.”

“You will. He’s coming back,” Jedediah said, without a shred of hesitation. “And when he does, he’s going to rip you from limb to limb.”

“Larry of Daley, defeat me?” Kahmunrah gave a wheezing laugh, tipping backwards in his chair. The hourglass swung back and forth as he held it. “You’re adorable _and_ funny.”

In truth, Jedediah hadn’t spared a single thought for Gigantor. Yes, he was pretty much their only hope, but. But still. He couldn’t lose hope that Octavius would return. And if trying to convince this loony bin was the only way to convince _himself_ , then it’d have to do.

o0O0o

Help. Octavius had to find help.

Someone as small as he was wouldn’t be able to do anything. He needed someone like the Night Guard, maybe even someone bigger-

Of course, the statue in the chair. The Gigantor to their Gigantor.

The squirrel was easy enough to tame. As soon as Octavius had managed to get atop its head, the thing reared back. Curious, Octavius rubbed his hands behind the creature’s ears. The squirrel nuzzled up happily and settled itself back onto the ground, seemingly happy.

And so the trip to the man in the chair was considerably faster, when riding atop the squirrel.

“Good sir!” he shouted up at the _truly gargantuan_ statuebefore him. “Sir, I say! I need your help!”

The figure in the chair didn’t appear to see him, though it certainly heard him. “Help?” it repeated, searching the floor. Its voice resonated through the marble, shaking the ground under the squirrels’s feet. Octavius drove the squirrel in circles, trying to catch the man’s attention.

“Yes,” he pleaded. “There isn’t time enough to explain- but we need someone strong enough to fend off an army, and I believe you’re the sole candidate for the job.”

“Indeed.” The circling seemed to have done the trick. The statue smiled. “I must say. In my time, people came to me for my wisdom rather than my brute strength,” it mused. It stood from his chair and took a step forward. The world trembled.

“We must hurry- my friend is in great danger,” Octavius continued, riding the squirrel in an attempt to keep up with the statue’s footsteps. He was stopped abruptly by the statue, which knelt down and held out its hand. The squirrel leapt up over its fingertips, chittering to itself.

“Your friend?” the statue asked. “That watchman fellow?”

“What? No.” Octavius drove the squirrel slightly ahead of the man’s feet. “No, I don’t think you know him.”

“You’re brave to have come all the way to me for help,” the statue pointed out. “For one your size, the journey must have been tremendous.”

“It was necessary. I made a promise.”

“Promises are often broken.”

“Not this one.”

“A good friend, then, is it?”

“Oh, yes, a very good friend,” Octavius agreed. Yes, Jedediah was indeed his best friend. Well, actually- “My only friend,” he amended. The statue’s hand rose through the air as it walked towards the lit building through the grass, and Octavius was suddenly level with one of its eyes.

“What has happened to your friend?”

And so Octavius explained about Jedediah’s predicament and the time limit that was bestowed on them. The statue seemed extremely upset when it heard the part about the hourglass.

“Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves,” it said darkly, and Octavius hurriedly thanked Mars that he was on its side in this fight.

“He is not a fit ruler,” he agreed, the statue’s words taking effect and parching his throat of the blood he so suddenly craved to spill. “And he will pay for what he has done, both to the people here and to Jedediah.” Especially to Jedediah.

“Your friend?” the statue asked.

“Yes. Jedediah is my greatest friend.” Octavius smiled. He’d never had anyone to talk to about the subject before- the Night Guard had left them alone after they’d formed an alliance and remained oblivious to the long and painful transition from bloodthirsty enemies to awkward allies to friends that they’d gone through. “And my greatest enemy,” he added, because it sounded nice.

“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend,” the statue advised. Octavius got the feeling that it was quoting something, but he didn’t question it.

When they reached the building, the statue helped him back to the ground.

“I will enter first,” he instructed, rearing the squirrel onto its back legs. “If you hear any trouble- and I fear you will- that will be your cue. But be sure not to give away your position; the element of surprise is crucial.” Well, it wasn’t quite crucial. But Octavius really wanted to see the look of surprise on that bastard’s face when his plans were blasted through the wall- literally.

“Go, warrior,” the statue said, nodding at him. “You have prepared well, and now your chance has come.”

Again, with the quotes.

o0O0o

Riding the squirrel through the legs of the countless soldiers and warriors was a challenge in and of itself. _Finding Jedediah_ through all of it was even harder.

Evidently the Night Guard was experiencing the same problem. Octavius followed on the back of the squirrel as the Night Guard raced through the crowd, trying to catch the wooden hourglass.

“Fear not, Larry!” he cried, throwing himself off the squirrel as the hourglass was tossed through the air and landed on its end. “I will help Jedediah- you come at them from behind!”

What did that even _mean?_ Octavius didn’t know. All he could think of was the fact that Jedediah was _right there_ and _about to die_ and Octavius _had to do something._

“Jedediah!” he cried, as he reached the hourglass at long last. His friend’s face lit up in surprise at the sound of his voice. “They need us!”

The glass between them did little to muffle Octavius’s yells as he looked down at Jedediah, who was nearly completely buried in sand.

“I ain’t gonna make it,” Jedediah shouted back, chin tilted up as high as he could stretch it. The sand pelted down on his hat, spilling over into his hair and around his neck. “Afraid this cowboy’s been to his last hoedown.”

Octavius’s palms slid down the glass helplessly. Jedediah wrenched his head back, knocking the hat off his head. It fell to the sand behind him and was quickly buried beneath the grains. Octavius shook his head, pressing his hands against the glass over and over and-

“Octavius,” Jedediah pleaded, now fully able to see his friend without the brim of his hat over his eyes. “Remember me as I was- wild and free, and-”

“No need for final words,” Octavius said, cutting him off and taking a step away from the glass.

“I’m not finished yet.” Jedediah frowned. “I want to get to the story of our relationship; the evolution from enemy to friends to-”

“No!” Octavius roared, in his usual dramatic fashion.

“It’ll make you cry,” Jedediah warned, able even now to crack a smile, even as he knew what was coming and knew he was powerless to stop it.

“No,” Octavius repeated, fiddling hurriedly with the straps of his helmet, “because you are going to _live!_ ”

Jedediah knew what was going to happen a split second before it did, and his attempt to retreat backwards against the potential onslaught of broken glass only made him sink further into the sand. His head began to dip below the grains, filling his mouth with the bitter sand, and-

Octavuis’s helmet collided with the hourglass.

As the glass shattered out and onto the floor, the sand flowed forward with a rush. Jedediah closed his eyes, rolling to a stop as a wave of fresh air met his lungs. He sucked it in, heaving and gasping- his head began to spin at the influx of oxygen, turning his vision black. He got to his knees, propped himself up with a hand, and fell back to the ground, knees buckling. Octavius was at his side instantly, helping him to stand. Jedediah met his friend, legs wobbling as he got to his feet.

“Oct- Octavius,” he breathed,  propped against the Roman’s shoulder.

“My friend, are you-” Octavius tucked his arm around Jedediah’s waist, keeping him firmly on his feet. “Are you hurt?”

“Just gimme a minute.” Jedediah breathed in and out, vision beginning to return. “M’fine.” _Now that you’re here._

“Are you hurt?” Octavius repeated, and Jedediah shook his head.

“I told you,” he said, strength returning to his legs. “I’m fine.” He brushed off his chest, which was covered in sand.

Octavius’s hand didn’t move from where it was sat, clutching Jedidiah’s waist.

“I am. Glad.” Octavius smiled, a small smile. They stood together, watching the carnage unfold before their eyes.

“Let’s go to work,” Jedediah muttered, and off they went.

o0O0o

The miniatures were closed off for the night hours; as they weren’t nearly as interesting- or easily explained- as the talking Teddy Roosevelt or the varieties of African mammals, they were given an extra few hours of freedom before the museum fully closed for the night and the rest of the exhibits got a chance to relax.

“That was brave of you,” Octavius said, as they sat together atop the bench in the middle of the Miniatures Room. “To let yourself be captured.”

“Oh, pshh.” Jedediah punched his arm. “Couldn’t let ‘em take you.”

“You knew perfectly well they could have killed you,” Octavius pointed out.

“Yeah, well. They could have killed you, too.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Octavius conceded.

 “Awh, hush up. I’m callin’ you brave. Take it. And hey, Gigantor didn’t do too bad himself, did he? Beat up that Kahmen something, eh?”

“That _asino_ ,” Octavius swore, crossing his arms. “ _Dare pondus idonea fumo._ ”

“Woah, woah, woah!” Jedediah put a hand on Octavius’s shoulder. “Cool it with the Latin, man, you know that’s all gibberish to me.”

“He never deserved the title of King,” Octavius spat, shaking his head.

“Well, yeah, he was kind of an idiot,” Jedediah agreed.

“He’d have killed you and done it happily.” Octavius looked over his shoulder, away from his friend.

“Hey, I’m used to it.” Jedediah punched Octavius’s arm again, grinning dumbly. “Right?”

Octavius said nothing, still not looking at him.

And this was fury, true fury, Jedediah realized. He’d been present to Octavius’s rage in battle, of course, back when they’d fought and the dawning of the day meant peace for a moment. But this? He’d never seen this before. This was quiet anger, the kind that burned and simmered like a bomb detonated without showing its timer.

And Jedediah had no idea how to fix it.

“Come on, he was just an idiot. S’not like he could have done any actual harm, right?” he tried, laughing nervously.

“He did,” Octavius said, voice low. “Or do you not remember nearly suffocating to death?”

“Oh, come on.” He sighed. “Are you still upset about that?”

“Yes, I am!” Octavius roared, getting to his feet. “Believe it or not, I’m still upset about the fact that that man you call an ‘idiot’ nearly killed you. And I wish to the gods that the Night Guard had done worse than throw him into his tomb again- He deserved nothing less than torture.”

“Woah, there, partner.” Jedediah stood up to meet him, putting a hand on his arm. Octavius shook it off roughly. “He might have been a bit unsettled in the head, but it’s not like he did any harm, right? We’re all still here, safe and sound. Yeesh, Octy. Dunno why you’re so worked up over it.”

“What I don’t understand is how you _aren’t_ ,” Octavius continued, rounding on Jedediah and prodding him in the chest with a finger. “You weren’t even worried when you were trapped in that infernal birdcage.”

“Oh, right, that thing.” Jedediah shrugged. “Yeah, no. Not really.”

“You’ve got to be the most bullheaded- what were you even _thinking?_ ”

“You,” Jedediah blurted out, before he even knew what he was saying.

Octavius frowned. “Excuse me?”

“I was. Thinkin’ ‘bout you. ‘Bout how I didn’t know where you were, if you’d even gotten away, if you were alive or eaten or crushed or something.”

“I was fine.” Octavius shrugged. “I ran into the squirrel, of course, but that was easy enough to tame.”

“You tamed a _squirrel?_ ”

“Oh. Yes.” Octavius nodded sheepishly. “It was aggressive at first, but-”

“ _Why?_ ”

“I had to get the statue to help,” Octavius explained. “It is, perhaps, the ‘Gigantor’ to _our_ ‘Gigantor.’”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute.” Jedediah held up his hands. “ _You_ brought that thing here?”

“Yes?” Octavius shook his head. “Look, that’s a different-”

“So you tame a squirrel and go up against someone who could squish you with the tap of his fingernail-”

“I didn’t _go up against_ him, I just-”

“-and you have the gall-”

“-It was a friendly chat-”

“-to call _me_ bullheaded.”

“ _That is beside the point._ ” Octavius slammed his foot down on the bench.

“Really?” Jedediah crossed his arms and leaned on one leg, eyeing Octavius shrewdly. “Because it sounds to me like you’re getting angry at me for doing the same things you did.”

“The same things- that was a completely different situation. I did what I had to.”

“Well, so did I.”

“ _You_ pointlessly sacrificed yourself on my behalf-”

“Because I had to.”

Neither of them said anything for a moment. In the glass case, the train came to a stop; the cowboys swapped positions, some hopping off, and some climbing on.

“I had to, Octy. I couldn’t let ‘em take you.” He fiddled his fingers together, looking down at the wooden bench.

“Do not,” Octavius began, turning to his friend and taking his hand, “for a _moment-”_ He took Jedediah’s other hand, “think that your life is worth less than mine.”

“Octy.” Jedediah’s gaze remained resolutely on the wood beneath his feet.

“Jedediah, listen to me.” Octavius’s voice became soft, then, in stark contrast to the barely concealed rage he’d held earlier. “I will never be able to understand how you can so easily shake off the memory of that- that _cretin._ ”

“Because nothing happened!” Jedediah squeezed Octavius’s hands, shaking them a little. “We’re fine.”

“Yes, but something _could_ have happened. And that’s precisely the point.” Octavius shook his head. “I could never forgive myself if harm came to you and- and I was at fault.”

“Oh. Oh, Octy.” Jedediah laughed, letting go of Octavius’s hands. He slipped off his gloves and stuffed them into his empty gun holsters, then took the hands back again. “None of that was your fault. You know that, right?”

“I knew I had to do _something,_ ” Octavius said, shrugging. “If not- and harm had come to you indeed- I’d never rid myself of the thought that perhaps there had been something I could have done.”

“Octy.”

“I would never forgive myself, do you understand?”

“Octy, listen, I-”

But Octavius had had enough. Ignoring whatever it was that Jedediah was about to say, the Roman drew his hands away from the other’s and placed them instead on either side of the cowboy’s head.

“What-”

And before Jedediah had time to properly ask what exactly was going on, Octavius was kissing him. It was rough and messy and yes, that was definitely their teeth clicking together and was that really supposed to be happening-

Jedediah threw caution to the wind, bringing his hands up and around Octavius’s neck. One hand ran up his hair until it felt the cool metal of the Roman’s helmet. He slipped his fingers below the rim, grasping his hair more firmly.

There was a clatter as Octavius’s helmet fell to the bench below them.

Octavius pulled away very slowly, hands still framing Jedediah’s face.

“Why’d you stop, amigo?” the cowboy asked softly, fiddling with his hair.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to startle you, it was merely a- well, an impulsive reaction,” Octavius began, babbling in an uncharacteristic manner. “If it was unwarranted, do let me know and I’ll-”

Jedediah kissed him soundly, perhaps a little harder than what was necessary, pulling back after a second or two.

“How about that, hm?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “That feel like ‘unwarranted’ to you?”

“Not. No. No, it didn’t,” Octavius stumbled. Jedediah smiled at him, grinning from ear to ear.

“Hey. How’d you like to be my partner, partner?”

“I’m already your partner.”

“Yeah, but I’d like you to be my _partner_ partner, partner.”

 “Jupiter, give me strength…”

Jedediah opened his mouth to respond, but the air came alive with the sound of the announcements, cutting their conversation short.

_The museum will be closing in twenty minutes. Repeat, the museum will be closing in twenty minutes._

“Looks like we’re almost out of time,” Octavius said, looking first at the closed doors and then back to Jedediah.

“On the contrary, partner. We’ve got all the time in the world.”

“Oh, _favete linguis._ ”

**Author's Note:**

>  _favete linguis_ : Favour me with your tongues (be silent)  
>  _dare pondus idonea fumo_ : Fit only to give weight to smoke (worthless)  
>  _asino_ : ass  
>  _cacoethes _: Irresistible urge__  
>  __"partner partner" taken from[this wonderful tumblr post](http://www.nonbinaryeldritchhorror.tumblr.com/post/74349358363) __  
> what the fuck am I doing  
>  I watched NATM 2 and then this just happened  
> no beta, all typos/mistakes are mine- let me know if you find any and as always, leave a kudos/comment if you enjoyed!


End file.
